#LaydeeSpeaks
2015,
Where do I begin. This year has been nothing short of unforgettable and certainly has been without a doubt life changing. I could have never imagined or predicted the amount of heartbreak that I had to endure this year. Before hitting the half way mark in 2015 I lost my father the late Bishop Gabriel Halton who passed unexpectedly at just 49 years of age. Extremely devastated to be burying my dad at 26 years old, I fell into depression while mourning his death throughout the summer and felt extremely lost. My father was the first man I ever loved, he was my friend, counselor, but more importantly he was there. It's hard to imagine my life without someone who's been there for me since day one. I miss him dearly ,his hugs, his laugh, and random text messages he'd send often to joke with me and tell me I was on his mind, followed by I love you's. In his passing I discovered how God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9).
A few month's later my now ex boyfriend confessed things to me that revealed that his "love" for me was a huge lie that he carried out for over half of our 3 year relationship. Overwhelmed with heartache I found myself angry. What he revealed was necessary for me to do what God was telling me to do for quite sometime, which was leave him alone. Needless to say I was still very bitter and heartbroken. Through constant prayer I soon realized that we can't determine God's steps, but in order to determine ours we have to surrender to his. The word of God reminded me that God would not with hold any good thing from me (Psalms 84:11) knowing that I learned to let it go, all the hurt, disappointment, and betrayal. I literally exhaled and finally let go of what I thought was my happily ever after and let GOD!
Basically what I'm trying to say to you 2015 is we're breaking up, and yes it's because the new year is here. I won't forget you, but this is my farewell to all of the storms that brought heartache and depression, flaky friends, liars, users, and feelings of loneliness, insecure thoughts, teary nights, and feelings of being taken for-granted. Despite it all I still managed to still trust God, love God, and walk in my purpose.
I'm not naive, and no I don't think everything will be peachy in the next year. But I've learned the importance of prayer and forgiveness this year and I'm well equipped for whatever comes my way next year. Just know I'm no longer afraid of what tomorrow may bring because I realize that if God is within me I will not fail (Psalms 46:5). I now understand the beauty in being broken, because it is in a broken place where God can really rebuild and use you.
So here's a toast to 2015, thank you for the trials and triumphs because now I'm prepared for next year's journey.
P.S
To any of my readers who may have faced difficult times this past year I want you to know that God loves you like crazy and I do too!
Cheers to a New Year!
-XO
Laydee
